I'm Communicating,
but...am I being heard?©
ISBN #0-9639986-6-8
Barbara L. Fielder, Author
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An excerpt from Chapter 6
Are you Communicating Positive Feedback?
Are you communicating positive feedback to others? This book would
not be complete without this important chapter. Are you aware of how
your feedback message is received by others?
You've heard the old adage..."no news is good news." Why
is that ingrained in our thinking? Is it that we have become so
accustomed to hearing negative feedback from others, yes, even from those
who are close to us? If so, naturally when all is quiet, you may
breathe a sigh of relief and consider all is well with your world. How
do you communicate your acceptance of other's good deeds and positive
performance? With silence? On the other hand when things don't
go well do you zoom in on the problem and the person with full force?
This is an aggressive tactic.
In the seminars I conduct, where we cover feedback, the participants are
reminded how important positive feedback is to others. Normally
everyone agrees that the positive feedback we give others can increase
positive motivation, can boost positive self-esteem, can raise
productivity, can improve customer service, and decrease turnover, errors
and absenteeism. Well you say, "If this positive feedback idea
is such great shakes, why don't more people give it? And, why don't I
receive more from those around me?" The answer is we just
aren't in the habit of giving positive feedback. We are caught up in
"no news is good news."
Here's a terrific technique that will help you to remember to give
positive feedback to those around you at work, at home, at
school-anywhere. Before I give you this technique, let's recap for a
moment. Remember you body or non-verbal language will play a significant
role in providing this form of communication. It's important that
your words and body language be congruent, that they "look and sound
the same." Suppose I stood before you with my arms folded, with
my eyes on the clock or with an ear plugged into the telephone receiver,
and informed you of the positive outcome of an assignments on which you
had participated, it's likely you would be insulted or at least be put off
by my cavalier attitude. What you can do to maximize your positive
feedback to others is to ensure that your verbal message, tone and body
language communicate the good news. You must ensure that there is no
mixed message. Here's something else to add to your list: Make
sure your verbal feedback is...
1. Specific - Identify the person's personal
contribution.
2. Timely - As soon as you know about what the
person did, give him the feedback.
3. Sincere - A smile, a warm tone to your voice, a
handshake, and the use of their name in the conversation.
O.K. let's move to the terrific technique. Stop reading at this point, dig
through your pockets, your change purse, your pocketbook and find ten
coins of any denomination. When you've scouted out your coins, begin
reading...
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